Oxymoron? Smart Person with a Disability  
By Heather Pauzé

My first experiences with the educational system for the disabled came in the first few weeks of kindergarten.

A teacher pulled me out of class that I didn't know, whose name was not given to me and whose face I could not see, only to be tested then retested by this person without explanation.  The teacher never told me what the test was for and by the third time I was retested I was very frightened and sure I'd done something wrong or was stupid.  Imagine my feelings when I found out that I had been given, not one but five, IQ tests because the school administrators couldn't believe that a student with a disability could have a high IQ.  This is just one of the many painful misconceptions that schools around this nation have about children with disabilities.  Many school administrators feel that if a child has any kind of disability it automatically means that the student is mentally impaired.   Many teachers and administrators refuse to take the time to get to know their students but go on their preconceived notions. 

Think back again to your senior year of high school.  Remember the stress of choosing a college and waiting for the letter from the university you really wanted to attend. Then one day you get a very thin envelope for the school that has been you top choice.  You open it and find out that you did not get in.  Then imagine going into your counselor's office, where you find out that she has written a negative letter to the college of your choice and has stated that you are not a qualified candidate for this college or any other because you have a disability.  This was my experience, even though my high school grades were good and I had done well on the SAT. This woman saw a disabled person -- me -- and acted accordingly.

Teachers/administrators and “professionals” with these attitudes could make anyone second-guess their abilities.  Far too often teachers seem to forget that their students have intelligence and feelings.  Teachers have spoken on more than one occasion in front of me without awareness or even concern as to the impact of comments like “it would be so much easier if she (me) went to the school for the blind” or  "I'm not paid to try to teach someone like her."   I wasn't the only person who heard these comments from the teachers -- students frequently relayed these comments to their parents.  Because administrators and teachers too often see students with any kind of disability as mentally deficient, they see these students as a burden.  Teachers didn't want me in their classrooms. Teachers stated that they were going to have to do more work than usual, and the established class plan that they had used for the last five, ten or twenty years would need amending.  They vocally resented the additional work and feared "someone watching over their shoulder."  

Again travel back in your educational mind to eighth grade.  Today I am having a major math test.  When I get to class and ask the teacher if he has made the modifications that I need in order to take the test, I'm told in front of the class that "it is not in my contract to modify any test and I'm not paid enough to do all of this extra work - I don't have to do anything for you."   I am forced to face this teacher every day for the rest of the year, knowing how he feels about having me in his class.

Because many teachers may see these students only as a burden, they never know their students at all.  Many times students are compared to any one that has a similar disability, with teachers saying things like "I had a student like you before." Students are even called by another students name who has a disability because all the teacher sees is a disability.     

What teachers and administrators need to do is look at students as individuals.  Jump back on to memory lane and think about first grade.  My first grade teacher was one of the best teachers I have ever known.  She took time to work with me one on one.  She always encouraged me to work as hard as I could.  She made me believe that I could do anything I wanted as long as I worked hard. She saw me as an individual and made me believe that I was worthy of her time and efforts.  I wasn't a burden to her.

Teachers like my first grade teacher, or the teacher that stopped me in the middle of the halls during high school to encourage me and ask how I was, kept me believing that I could make it.  They made believe that I'm not stupid and that I have the same rights as everyone else to be in school--to be treated with respect and be given the best opportunities to learn. Heather Pauzé was born legally blind. She is the Fall 2003 winner of The Handicapped Media Scholarship.